Uncle Jake & Aunty Emma Come to Visit Tippi. Whoopee!

We went for a quiet visit to the library this morning. Daddy wanted to look at the model of the plans for the new development at the library, where Hornivale council are putting up, loads of stuff, including lots of luxury flats but no new parking spaces. They were supposed to be building a cinema there too, which would have been nice, but then they dropped the plans. When Daddy asked a man why the cinema wasn’t going ahead he said… “Not enough parking.” Poor Daddy. You can’t win I tell you. Anyway, Uncle Jake and Aunty Emma were visiting today. Yes; another bunch of people coming around to our house to ignore me and coo like lovesick wood-pigeons over my new baby sister The latest round in the long list of People Going Ga-Ga Over Lady Goo-Goo I don’t know when Tippi became Lady Goo-Goo in my head.  I think it was about the same time as that ridiculous song Modern Romance hit the charts with it’s Ra, Ra, Ga, Ga lyrics and I realised Tippi was making more sense than the song. Anyway. The visit. Mummy and Daddy had some loud talking the day before  ‘cos I was under the table and I earsdropped Mummy saying ‘If your sister-in-law criticises me once for the way I’m holding Tippi, or feeding her, or dressing her I will throw a used nappy at her.” And then Daddy called her “very mature” which I thought was nice but then I heard the salad spinner hit the wall so I guess she didn’t like it.  Aunty Emma does tend to do that though. She often thinks she knows better. Even the policeman when she was done for speeding. She said she was put off by a badger who jumped out of the hedge and pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. When the policeman said  “I didn’t see a badger maam.” She said  ‘I’m not surprised, it was probably frightened away by your siren.” Hmm.  she’s Daddy’s sister in law and she’s from a very posh background where they keep the TV in a room of its own and they have big kitchens and a laundry and people to do their cooking and so on.  Mind you, as Mummy said once, they have that in prison and they’re not posh. However, to be honest, this time Uncle Jake and Aunty Emma were fairly brilliant. They brought me a present, a fab’ Crayola Beginnings Colour Me a Song which is amazing ‘cos it plays songs and you use the crayon and if you speed up the song speeds up and if you slow down you can slow down the song. I wish you could do that in real life. That flipping Mika could do with being slowed down for a start… if not stopped entirely! We are golden? No you’re not. You’re bonkers! He’s too skinny as well. He’s like a singing mop with the voice of Freddy Mercury and the range of a dog whistle. Anyway. It’s a great present and great fun. And why me? You ask. Why did they buy me a present when they came to see Tippi.  Well, this is because they understand, as all sensitive, modern Tall People should, that they mustn’t ignore me when I have a new baby otherwise it’ll do me psychological damage and I might take it out on the baby… yeah right, still it gets me lots of stuff! They bought Tippi a great present too. It spins around and plays gentle music and it’s called a John Lewis Car Mobile. I’ll tell you what. If Hornivale council has their way, they will be the only cars that are mobile round here… that’s for sure.